on the can
Pam Poovey holyshitsnacks
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Infopost: I'm going to go home, watch Hooper, and masturbate until my fingers bleed
I'm LJ-cutting this for the highly NSFW gifs found within. Isn't that the whole fun of infoposts, anyway?

So, I don't have much to say about Archer -- not because there isn't much to say about it, but because my partner-in-crime did a lovely job summarizing and I'm incredibly lazy. It's been described as "James Bond meets Arrested Development," but I think you need to add in some LSD to that mix first. All I can add to that is "no, seriously, go watch it, immediately." It's on Netflix streaming. What more do you want?

Pam herself is a goober, having grown up on a dairy farm, and she still has that wholesome Minnesota/Wisconsin accent going. Which makes it all the funnier when she says extremely vulgar things. She's often the voice of reason, which doesn't mean she's sane. Just that she hangs out with Cheryl. Being saner than Cheryl is a lot like being wetter than the desert: it only takes a little. But she's usually just hanging back and watching the chaos with amusement, often while using the john. Really.

Pam is just about Cheryl's height, say 5'5", and her blonde hair is always in a bun. Always. She calls herself a "sturdy bisexual;" she clocks in at 250, and yes, she gets shit for it, but so what? She likes bearclaws and dessert and extra meals. Besides, she's canonically a sex goddess, even if she is a moped (fun to ride, but you don't want your buddies seeing you on one).

She has the weirdest side hobbies of anyone on the show. She put herself through college with underground street fighting. She races drift with the Yakuza. She has a record of cramming four pool balls into her mouth -- get her drunk enough, and she'll try for five. She's a massive fan of marijuana. And she spray paints graffiti all around town and in bathroom stalls. Because why not.

She's pretty terrible as an HR rep, what with having a gossip blog (chock full of details pulled from employee files) and guilting one of her co-workers into having sex with her. She keeps dolls in the HR office for sexual harassment complaints -- and she keeps extra just in case there's ever a gang bang. Fingers crossed!!!

(I told you these gifs were NWS.)

In other words, nobody in their right mind would ever want Pam or Cheryl in charge of young minds, much less both at the same time, so class should be pretty sweet.

Comments? Questions? Archer quotes? Green Russians?
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